No pictures today

oh, sweet girl! motherhood is so hard. you are doing such a great job and i can feel how much you love your little guy through your posts on fb {i am a fan of yours!}. my daughter had severe reflux as an infant and it was rough. i can tell you the things that helped her, but i'm sure you are getting a ton of that. i know, the thing that helped her sleep was wrapping her in a blanket, TIGHT! i swear i felt like we were putting her in a straight jacket, but it is the only thing that would get her to sleep for extended periods of time. not sure if this helped the reflux or if she just liked it. but it gave us some stretches of sleeping. and sure enough, as soon as her arms started working their way out, she woke up. we never put her on any major drugs for it {partly because i had no idea they were even avialable. the doctor never offered them up}. we did use mylicon drops and they helped her. but mostly, it was just keeping her upright after she ate for extended periods of time. hang in there and keep leaning on your family for support, and loving that baby boy!!

Dont ever forget that "I can do all things throught Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13. You cant have children and not cling to this verse :) Good luck and just have faith that God will give you the answers that you need.

having a newborn is so friggin' hard. the hardest thing ever. you're sleep deprived, have raging hormones, out of your routine--then, throw on top of that a baby that has acid reflux and it's even harder!

people are going to give you tons of advice--some of it will be useful to you, some of it won't. just try different things to make Sol comfortable. all babies are different but something will work.

my daughter had AR and we had to thicken her breastmilk/formula. i also swear by two other things--gripe water helped us a ton and is totally safe and we used the miracle blanket for swaddling. i almost didn't order b/c i thought it was too expensive but in the end, i would have paid $1000 for that thing! it was a lifesaver!

hang in there--you're doing great!

Hi Lauren! This to shall pass! It is hard- and being a parent is going to stay hard. But your are given what you need for this adventure. Our lil' one had AC bad as well. The zantac seemed to work a little but our best solution was forumla. We were on Alimentum and it is PRICEY but worth every penny. It will get better- no matter what option you choose- it will get better.

oh lauren...im so sorry :( its so hard to see your baby in pain and feel like you just dont know what the right choice is for them! a couple recommendations i have are to 1.) try and see if you can get into some sort of natural/holistic pediatric gastroenterologist to give you some more natural alternatives if you are uncomfortable with using the traditional meds 2.) get and read the book "happiest baby on the block"! there are so many great ideas in there to help you soothe a crying baby! you can also look on youtube for their swaddle technique, which worked wonders for my daughter! 3.) get out of the house as much as possible! i know it seems like a daunting task to do the simplest things...but getting outside and maybe meeting a friend at the park, at their house, or even to just walk around the mall , will really help you feel better cause you wont feel like such a prisoner in your home! 4.) look into formula alternatives. my sister law has a baby with extreme tummy sensitivities and AR, and she has been on the "chicken and rice" diet for a couple months now, and although hes a million times better, he still has traces of blood in his stool. so, she is doing some research on goats milk as an alternative to formula! maybe something worth at least looking into!

having a newborn is hard...but luckily it does get better, and somehow we tend to forget the crappy parts and remember our sweet babies as these perfect little bundles, so we have another one and then it all comes flooding back :)

hang in there! you have a ton of support from your friends and family, and of course all your e-friends here on the good ol world wide web :) there will be days when you question whether you really were ready for this, and might even find yourself getting annoyed and angry with him...and then you will cry cause you feel like the worst mother in the world...but know this...YOU ARENT THE ONLY ONE! all of us have felt that way, and the fact that you are so stressed about it shows how much you care and want the best for him!

I feel your pain! What worked for my baby was formula (we did a gentle lease, and it was the hardest decision to make but now its awesome bc anyone can feed him), prevacid and a pro-bitoics for the little guy. He is an amazing, happy sleeper and happy baby now. Hang in there, it is very hard to have a baby who cries all day every day.

I think the big thing you have to do is to stop thinking about the way things "should" be. They never are as you imagined, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst. ESPECIALLY parenthood. It makes me so mad that there are so many people who make parenthood sound like sunshine and roses when, in reality, 90% of it SUCKS--but that other 10% is so amazing that it makes up for all the sleepless nights and ungrateful kids and sick kids and times you made the wrong decision. The best we can do is love our kids. If you have to switch to formula, that doesn't make you a bad parent. If you try the chiro and it doesn't work, it's NOT the end of the world. If you end up with the Prevacid then Sol will BE OKAY. I promise the things you are dealing with now aren't the only things you're going to worry over. In a few months, or a year or two maybe, you won't even REMEMBER this. And if you do you'll wonder what you were so worried about in the first place (because honestly, this is a tiny problem compared to some of the ones parenthood will probably throw at you). All you can do is make the best decision and trust that it will all be okay in the end. Because it WILL.

Oh Lauren, I soo understand. I was in your exact shoes 2 years ago. We realized it was AR when we could not even change her diaper without intense screams of pain. Poor thing would cry all day long. Seriously no stopping. I know each baby is different as is each set of parents. But maybe you will find comfort knowing others went through very similar situations. We tried everything...first the non-medicine options: eliminating different food/dairy from my diet (I was down to only chicken and steamed veggies) the only thing this seemed to do was to help me produce less milk :(, which lead to supplementing with formula, then we tried pro-biotics for me and baby pro-biotics for her, finally at 6 weeks we went on Prevacid. I could tell an immediate change. A few weeks into it we had to add another prescription and this is what we stayed with until 1 year. At one year she was taken off all medication and almost 100% of spitting up stopped, no signs of pain, damage done. Sorry for the novel, I just remember feeling like noone understood b/c none of my friends had gone through this. Feel free to email me. I know how hard this can be, to only want your baby to be free from pain.

Hi,
I am so sorry for your dilemma, and just wanted to leave what worked for us. My son also had acid reflux and we tried Zantac, didn't work, so we had to get on Prevacid (worked!). We personally didn't have any problems with constipation...but I know every child is different and I hope you find what works for you (soon!). Also, he had to be on a special formula (Similac Sensitive), but again, every child is different....

Hi Lauren!
I’m not even sure how I originally found your blog but I went to HS with Marla (and adore her) so I’ve been “following” your cute little blog for a while. I never comment so I’m one of those weirdoes that just reads and smiles. Any how, when my now 2 year old was a baby he also had acid reflux. It’s awful. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this and I can totally identify. We also had Jack on Zantac which in the end helped but he still struggled with it for a while. One tip that our doctor recommended was giving the baby a ¼-½ teaspoon of Mylanta. (We used the cherry Mylanta without aluminum.) This helps coat their throat so when they have a reflux episode it doesn’t hurt as bad. Check with your doctor to make sure they agree with this method but it worked wonders with our little guy. I definitely struggled with the decision of giving my newborn medicine but in the end, for us, it was the best option. He was on Zantac until about a year when he finally grew out of it. I’m sure you’ve been researching the heck out of it but if you have any questions just give me a shout. Praying that you find a way to manage his reflux so that you can enjoy those precious newborn days.

Oh Lauren, I know I don't know you but I live in Lubbock and have followed your photography blog for awhile now. I know EXACTLY what you are going through, as I just experienced pretty much the exact same thing you are describing with my now 4 month old daughter. I wish I would have had someone to talk to when I was going through this because I know how hard it is - it's so discouraging to have a baby that cries the entire time that they are awake. I referred to it as the "pain" cry because you can tell they are in pain and you are right - it sounds SO different than other cries. All I wanted to do was spend quality time with my baby, interact with her, help with her development, but I couldn't do anything because all she would do is cry cry cry when she was awake. All I could do was hold her and rock her. I also felt so helpless and I think it even contributed to mild PPD and stress. But I am here to tell you that it DOES get better, especially with the solutions you are thinking about. Trust your motherly instinct. I experienced the same "instinct" as you when you first thought something wasn't right with your baby. Here is my advice/what worked for us based on your solutions:
1) I wouldn't take him off the meds. Can you up the dose of his zantac? They quickly outgrow the doses of Zantac when they gain weight. It sounds like he is severe enough that he needs some sort of medication. I would try chiropractics - I have heard from one mom that said chiropractics did wonders for her baby's severe acid reflux. She kept him on medicine though.
2) We switched to formula immediately (similac alimentum and now we use a perscription formula called Elecare). I am not sure if I am happy with this decision or not. I was at my wit's end in the situation and in such a fog, that formula seemed like the only option to me. Looking back, I wish I would have eliminated dairy/soy/gluten free/etc. and pumped for 3 weeks while she drank formula. 3 weeks would have been an adequate amount of time for every last drop of that stuff to be elmininated from my system and the baby's. After 3 weeks, I should have tried the breast again....but at the same time, I think it would have been hard to keep up that diet forever and then I wonder if a diet like that would decrease your milk supply because you might not be getting adequate nutrition or enough calories? I have mixed feelings.
3) I would try prevacid if you really think zantac is doing nothing for him. I know prevacid does wonders. I begged for it, but our pediatrician wouldn't perscribe it for us because it isn't "approved" when they are that young, yet so many babies are perscribed it, so it is really that harmful? For constipation - ask you pedi if an ounce of apple or pear juice could be added to one bottle a day to help with that. I have heard that works. What bottles do you use? I found Dr. Browns worked best for little acid reflux tummies.
4) If you want to breastfeed, I would try that diet. It would require lots of label reading. Keep in mind it will take at LEAST 2 weeks before you see any sort of difference in the baby, which is why I favor trying formula for those 2 weeks (while you cleanse your system) if you want to see immediate improvement because formula will only take 2-3 days to work. Also, the formula should be a hypoallergic kind like similac alimentum or enfamil's equivalent of that. He may not like the taste - but I have found that similac alimentum's ready to feed formula tastes better than the powder version. My daughter's acid reflux and MSPI was so severe that she couldn't even tolerate store bought formula and most likely would not have been able to tolerate my breastmilk either (even with me eating no dairy, soy, etc).
5) I wouldn't wait anything out because like you metioned, it could cause damage to his esophogus.

Hang in there girl - it will take time for his little body to heal and be glad you are fixing it NOW. Some moms think their babies are "colicky" and don't even realize it's really acid reflux. We put my daughter on Zantac at 2 weeks, switched to similacf formula at 5 weeks, Elecare formula at 7 weeks, and finally saw improvement in her crying spells/pain at about 9 weeks. It takes time, but hopefully in about 2 weeks when your maternity leave is up he will be improving! I know you want to enjoy your maternity leave but think of it this way - he will be happy when you have to leave them in the care of other people while you are working and you won't have to worrry about him! Don't be afraid to call your pediatrician every day - I became great friends with ours/the nurse staff because I called all the time and brought her in all the time. If you have any questions, need to vent, etc., feel free to email me!

Sooo very sorry he is struggling with the reflux so bad, and I know how it breaks a momma's heart to see her baby in pain. Big hugs to you. May you lean on the Lord for strength and wisdom on what to do!

I had a baby with reflux, although not near as bad as what you are describing. I slept upright with him in the recliner for 2 months or more. Breastfeeding is the BEST food you can give him, please don't stop doing that. I read, when my guy was having troubles, that breast milk has natural anti-acid properties in it that actually makes babies feel better when they nurse. You could definitely try a dairy free diet, as that could help him. Have you checked out Kellymom.com? It was a great resource for me when I was researching options on what to do. The articles are from evidence-based research, and they really promote helping the breastfeeding mom. My little guy eventually grew out of it around 3 1/2 months old. Many hugs to you! Remember to seek the Lord in ALL things, even this.

Hello, my friend. My heart hurts that you're having a hard time. You have been in my daily prayers since the weeks leading up to Sol's birth, and I'll step it up now. Although I have no experience with an infant struggling with acid reflux, I did deal with a pretty hefty dose of post-partum depression in the weeks after Dorothy was born. I cried all the time, and really had a hard time because life with my newborn wasn't what it had been with my first. It was a serious struggle, but thanks to God and a wonderful husband, I made it through it. You will, too! Sol will outgrow this, and you'll be so grateful that you were the one there to hold him during this time. It might seem like you aren't getting the bonding you wanted because he's in pain... but the fact is, you're fighting together! What a wonderful experience! You and your son are warriors together, and that will make it all the easier to appreciate motherhood when it gets easier... and it WILL get easier!
My prayers and love going out to you both!

Hang in there! Your struggles with AR sound nearly identical to mine with my little boy (now 2). First things first...keep blogging in detail the way you are. You will be SO glad when #2 comes along and you can look back and remember what worked, what didn't, his age when things got better, etc. (You think you will remember the details but I never could!)

Second thought...is there any chance your pediatrician will give you Prevacid samples? Mine gave me several handfuls of sample packs to try out, so I didn't need to waste $$ on the prescription if it didn't work. (The pharm companies give them to the doctors like crazy..its worth to ask!) That being said, Prevacid was the ONLY thing that worked for us. (Although I have heard good things about chiro work on infants with AR...I never even considered that along with medication, but its worth a shot) Diet changes barely made a marginal (if any) difference. I struggled too with the idea of putting him on adult medication, but at the end of the day he needed rest, and so did I! Looking back through my blogs and seeing the overall change when the medication started working, I started enjoying my baby again! (as awful as it sounds, it is SO hard to not get discouraged and extremely frustrated, making it that much harder to enjoy your baby and being a new mom)

Anyway, I really hope you find a solution that works for you guys. Just remember though...it *WILL* get better!

Hello! I have been a silent blog stalker for a long time! I really enjoyed reading your birth story and hearing about your sweet baby Solomon. I have an 11 week old baby girl. She doesn't have reflux, but I can say that I felt the same as you about motherhood for probably the first 8 weeks of her life. She was very gassy and it broke my heart to hear her cry in pain and not be able to help her. I thought she would be our only child for a long time. Now I find myself excited about giving her a sister or brother someday! I know everyone says it, but it really does get better. For what it's worth - lots of people say that Zantac didn't work for their baby and Prevacid does (I read Baby Center boards a lot and it seems like everyone on there has a reflux baby). It may be worth a shot. Also, many people swear by chiropractors, so I hope that helps! Poor baby - I feel your pain and can't wait for you and him to feel better.

My hat is off to all new moms, especially those with challenging babies! You are doing great and the Lord will give you wisdom...

I have heard rave reviews from those who have used chiropractics to relieve everything from "colic" to constipation and I'm sure AR could respond really well too! I am all for natural remedied if at all possible...definitely keep him on your milk if you can and be very selective about what you eat..,huge sacrifice for mom, but so worth it...remember, the Lord can redeem your time and give you plenty of sweet moments even after you start working again...and know that things usually get remarkable easier for whatever reason around the six week mark...:)

I think you need to stop stressing out and hold the baby up right more often. My son was in nicu for a month, and had sever reflux, he would refuse to eat because he projectile vomited we didn't use burp towels we used beach towels. I think you might be making a mountain out of a mole hill. Unhappy babies are never fun. The more you stress out about it is the more stress he'll feel. Relax hold him upright and drink lots of water!

So sorry that it's been so hard for you! I'll be praying for sure :) If you do end up trying formula, you can at least keep pumping so that if the formula doesn't change anything, you can go back to breast feeding!

Lauren, you, josh and sol are in my prayers! It is soooo hard having a newborn with AR. I used to think my baby hated me. Pumping is sooo hard too, nothing worse than feeding with a bottle, pumping and cleaning pump parts and bottles. I used the Medela Steamer bags which helped, and formula was our answer. My husband and I gave a time limit for BF/Pumping to see if things improved, which helped me to have a light at the end of the tunnel. Through prayer and my baby not getting better we started using formula all the time. And the "outrage" by our friends and family was upsetting but now the baby is happy and so are we. The reflux is still hanging on, but he is not as upset anymore. I also wore my baby in the Ergo and Moby a lot (he could be upright and I could have 2 free hands) Meds also helped us. Praying for you!

Hi Lauren, I am so sorry to hear that Soloman is having a rough time. I was just looking at kellymom.com and there is some research to suggest that reflux is less severe in breastfed babies. Here is the link:
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/reflux.html
Perhaps you could start the Prevacid and maintain the breastfeeding, especially since the cost of the prescription and formula will be astronomical. That being said, your son will grow up to be happy, healthy, and intelligent regardless of the way you feed him, and the most important thing is that he is well-nourished and you're happy too. One other thing: have you heard of the Nap Nanny? It's an infant recliner thing that keeps him at an angle to help out with reflux. I've heard good things about it, and it might be worth the investment.
I hope Sol gets to feeling better soon, and that the three of you start getting some sleep!
All best,
Susie

I am so sad to read your post. I remember so well those feelings you are expressing. I am so sorry that you are hurting and that you are having a tuff start. IT is hard! You SO need to trust your instinct as a mom! YOu are brand new at this Yes, BUT the LORD has chosen you to be his mother and has equipped you with everything you need ( even if it does not feel like it ) TRUST what you feel. My little boy was on prevacid for a really long time. He is a healthy happy boy. I hope it helps to know that other women have gone through this as well. Please know i am praying for you.
PS- i also recommend Happiest Baby on the Block
PSS - You LOVE on that baby as much as you want, the camera will come out when it needs to.

The first 6 weeks with my baby were NOT what 'd imagined. They were tough and breastfeeding didn't work at all.

If you have to try formula, keep pumping! Just in case the formula doesn't change anything, your milk will still be there. The chiropractics WORKS great and keeping her upright all the time. Have you read Dr Sears books? They've really helped me calm down, and just follow her cues to make our schedule and I hold or wear her a lot. It works for us.

I had to stop nursing which I never imagined not doing (long story, I can share if you'd like) but formula has not stopped my baby's stomach problems. I've learned that wearing my baby helps because she's propped up, she naps in her swing, on me in a sling or propped on her boppy and we co-sleep (again, not something I ever planned on doing... notice a trend here?) Hang in there and whatever you decide to do that works for your family - is the right thing to do.

Going through the same thing. Feel helpless and have no idea what to do. Some nights for us are good, and some she is inconsolable. :(

I really think you do NOT need to listen to what this person wrote "Anonymous: I think you need to stop stressing out ..." NOt helpful at all. Do not let people make you feel like you are a crazy first time mom. Delete their comments and move on!

Lauren - Perhaps the easist thing to try first is to take him off your breast milk and try a Soy based formula. My best friend just went through the same exact thing and as soon as she did that her baby was better within days. Her breast milk was just not working out for her baby and perhaps it's the same in your situation.

Lauren,
I was in the same situation a few years ago with my newborn. The second day home from the hospital he started with his reflux and I felt aweful. He was put on medicine but what really helped was that I was able to breastfeed (pumped) and then we added cereal to his bottles which were really thick but it was a lifesaver. This way he was still breastfed but the thicker milk kept everything down. I believe there are other things you could add to his bottle instread of the rice cereal you may just want to ask your doctor. Hope this helps!

My daughter had severe acid reflux, so bad they actually thought that she may have piloric stenosis, she had an ultrasound at 10 weeks to see if her esophogas was closed. Gripe water worked really well for her. It's by the brand Little Tummies. It's natural, you can just give it to him in the medicine dropper or put it in with a bottle. It's the only thing that calmed her down. Hope you find something that works soon!

I'm so sorry you are having all of this trouble. I know you must be tired. Just one small thing to say. I am a Registered Dietitian who has had breastfeeding on the mind since I even THOUGHT of having a baby. I'll cut to the chase and tell you that I had my first daughter 14 years ago and it was sheer misery. I really thought I wan't going to make it. She threw up after every feeding and didn't sleep an hour. I am not kidding you. Constant crying no matter what I did. Long story short, after six weeks of no sleep, having the baby blues and just plain losing my mind, the pediatrician tested her and found out she was allergic to the protein in my breastmilk. I reluctantly tried the formula she recommended and my baby slept for 6 hours straight!!!! Are you kidding me? Liquid gold. I tried not to feel guilty about quitting breastfeeding, and it wasn't so hard when I saw how happy and content my baby was!

Hi Lauren, I am also a silent blog stalker. Please don't blame yourself for the problems that Sol is having. I have a 12 year old with acid reflux (since she was 8 or so) and it doesn't get easier when you can't help them. She is currently on Prevacid 30 mg once a day. I remember feeling the same way you are when she was little. I want you to know that you aren't alone in feeling this way. Hormones are going crazy and sometimes feel so alone. Don't be afraid to tell your husband how you feel and don't be afraid to let other people take care of Sol when you are exhausted. Sleep when he sleeps and don't worry about what the books say. Do whats best for you and Sol!! I think every new mom feels this way they just don't always voice it out in the public. Remember you are still Lauren!!

the same thing happened with my baby, and he wouldnt cuddle anymore and was so stiff forever. :( i went with the expensive prevacid, used apple juice to combat the constipation. It is rough. Hang in there. i know how hard it is. Just keep bonding and trying whatever works for him. All babies are different and something might work. God Bless!

Sweet, sweet Lauren. Soloman is a blessed little boy to have you for a mother. It seems that in the last few years, babies have been diagnosed with acid reflux. When my 27 yo son was born, that was never mentioned. However, colic was the diagnosis for crying all the time. When you mentioned that Soloman pulled his legs up, among other things, that sounds like what we called colic. He had the mylicon drops, which didn't help. I was a basket case. My advice is to pray, and if you believe in laying on of hands, take him to church and anoint him with oil and let the deacons, elders, or whatever you have in your church, lay hands on him and pray. And ask them to pray for you to have wisdom in this situation. God will give you the answer and you'll have a peace about it. Motherhood is very hard, but you're a wonderful mother who wants the best for her son. God bless, sweet lady and little Soloman

Lauren - I live in Lubbock and have followed your blog for awhile now. You are so talented! I know you have already recieved tons of advice from other followers and you may be to overwhelmed to read one more piece of advice. I know how mentally draining the first few weeks (months) can be. My baby was born May 1st and begin getting very fussy around 1 week old. Like most moms I was concerned but tried not to get overly worried. Well his symptoms just got progressivly worse to where he wasn't sleeping at all and crying almost round the clock. As a new Mom you feel so helpless in that situation. Anyway...long story short....he had milk/soy protein allergy so we switched from breast feeding to formula...SImilac Alimentum.... LIFE SAVER!! I was like you, did not want to give up breast feeding; we all know that is what's best. But, in the end my baby was SOOOO much more content. It only took 1 day for his symptoms to improve dramatically. You need to enjoy this precious time with your baby and be able to really bond. My son is very healthy now and a completely content and happy 3 month old. The Alimentum is expensive but you can find great deals on eBay and will get plenty of coupons from Similac and your pediatrician. I Solomon gets to feeling better soon. You are a great Mom; hang in there!!