I loved photographing this adorable, fun family in Stillwater last week. You could just see the family dynamic was filled with love and fun, something that I hope others can see in my own family too! Here are my favorites...

He went skinny dipping at "the beach" yesterday, "the beach" is our new large sandbox with a white suntanning chair and this plastic pool. He loves it and so do I. Spring is the best!

I feel like if he would have graduated a year or two earlier than now that I wouldn't have been completely supportive of his coaching/teaching career for various reasons that I have always been worried about, but now, this year, I am totally on board! He is 27 years old and the Lord knew that it would take him that long to get through school because He wanted to use US together to make a difference in young people's lives... starting out together and helping each other. It is really quite amazing and I never knew why it was in the cards for Josh's schooling (he has enough hours through the various colleges to have a Masters!) to take a few years longer than normal, but now it is crystal clear. You see, Josh isn't picking a career to teach to "roll in the dough", but because he wants to be a leader to this lost generation of kids who just need a good man (and supportive wife!) to look up to. It has taken us years to get to this point personally where I believe that we are both on a road to unity together and our best years are coming straight for us. Congratulations darling. You did it! Now, let's be bright lights for some students!

And then we have one of my momma tickling Solomon...

Kyle and Tara are getting married in Stillwater this October and I can't wait for their wedding! Kyle is a firefighter with my father-in-law and is just such a nice guy! He and Tara have a few race horses and we got to photograph Zero, this gorgeous horse! It had been a while since I had been around a horse and it made me miss old Rev. Here are a few of the favorites.

Last year I missed the anniversary because I was huge and pregnant and had my mind on two things: ice cream and swimming. 

Yesterday my engagement couple asked me how long I had been doing photography and when I said 8 years it reminded me that TODAY is my anniversary! I should take Solomon out to the new Olive Garden for lunch to celebrate.

I have learned SO much through this business and have morphed into so many different people through the process!

When I first started my main goal was to earn enough money to pay off my camera (the Canon 10D and the 35-350mm 3.5-5.6 L lens) and wait around to find a husband to marry and just be a housewife. I began to take any kind of photos that would pay me, even some sports photos and an occasional wedding (after worrying for hours the night before that I would have my camera lock up or break something in the middle of the ceremony!) and after I paid off my camera I began a waiting period for this husband of mine... well lucky for me it only took another year to marry me off and my photography business started to grow.

Seniors and weddings were what I photographed, families and kids were icky to me and I didn't like to photograph them because I had no idea how to interact with kids! One thing led to another and after my heart became sick to be "on top" I started my journey upward in the photography ladder. Looking back on my experience I was one determined girl to "make it". There weren't as many photographers back then as there are now and so everyone just "knew" everyone in the cyber world and I began to try to make a splash (which now would have not done a thing, my talent is so far surpassed by newcomers now that I just sit back in awe!).

I began to attend workshops, network, travel and crave more knowledge and fame in photography. It became my life to make my name known and to make people like me. I totally had a complex and really think that it stemmed from my parent's divorce and secretly wanting to show my dad that I could make something of myself, something big! 

My friends and I would see photographers get famous really fast and then sadly watch as they gloated in the fame, and then crash and burn as they "fell" from their fame in the other photographer's eyes. It was a terrible sight to see these people go through the gossip rings, of course I was apart of them too, and to see them crushed with nothing remaining. We determined that we would never make it to the "top" of photography, but we would just get pretty close just in case we were all of the sudden "not cool" anymore then it wouldn't be as painful and hurtful. Silly I know, but unless you are a photographer right now then you really wouldn't understand. This photography circle stuff is very much like high school/college greek popularity contests.

If you are pretty, skinny and dressed cool then you are elevated. If you are young you are elevated. If you know the right people then you are elevated. I tried to be all three to up my game. I spent countless hours/dollars on my outward appearance before I would go to WPPI in Las Vegas just so that maybe I would be cool enough to hang out with the "Famouses". This is all hilarious, I know, but I felt like sharing it all today!

Anyways, it was all emptiness. It would come in waves, you would feel accepted and "famous" for a second while some newbie would come up and ask if you were "Lauren Clark???" and the next you were a nobody. It is a sad thing to base your importance as a human on those things, because once you've tasted it you will stop at nothing to have a downpour of adoration. I began "marketing" myself with t-shirts, stickers, Facebook tags, flyers, etc... and slowly became somewhat "famous" in the photography world. Little did all of these people know that I was just a 22 year old girl who was looking for something to fill that void and ache in my life for something bigger than myself.

Through photography I was able to travel America, make as much money as I would have ever wanted, buy anything for anyone at the drop of a hat, but I was so empty. Nothing could satisfy me for longer than a week. Nothing.

Then it happened, photographers came out of everywhere and started to invade Lubbock and every area in America. Digital SLRs and knowledge began to infiltrate the web for CHEAP and everyone all of the sudden was a photographer, and they were GOOD... FAST! It took me YEARS of trial and error to learn these things and all of the sudden there was a photographer who started two months ago and was already better at lighting/photoshop/posing than me. My world started to shake because people didn't care about me anymore. My pedestal that I was on began to wobble and I didn't know what to do... and so I moved. Literally, that is one of the reasons that I moved was because I felt so much pressure by all of these new awesome photographers in Lubbock and if I couldn't be on top then I would rather just vanish! 

Can you see pride and insecurity written all over this? Oh my, I had no idea though, I was BLIND. Anyway, so when we moved to Stillwater (and this was all in the Lord's lovely plan) people didn't want to hire this expensive new photographer. Another blow to my pride. What? I thought I could go anywhere and earn business, I mean, I was a teacher at LOVE AFFAIR Workshop for goodness sakes! Nope. Nada. 

The Lord is so good because He has slowly whittled down my pride instead of wiping it out from under me all at once. You see, through a series of long events I am now a stay at home mom (what I always wanted to be) and am doing photography at my own pace. We downgraded our lifestyle so that we can make it on a teacher's salary and my life has never been more meaningful and peaceful. Sure, every once in a while I'll see one of the "famouses" luxury cars, travels, award winning work and adoration from the others and wish that I could be there again, but then I remember the emptiness that came with it for me. When you put your hope in the accolades of men then you will always be let down.

I am no where close to perfect and still have hidden reservoirs of pride in my life, but my desire is to live life to the fullest, not in things and money (because I have already experienced that road and it was lacking), but in love and helping people. I am drawing my worth from the Lord now and He is my marketing plan. 

I used to think that if I marketed more and did "xyz" that I would get more business, but now I realized that it was the Lord's hand the entire time and nothing I could do would bring more or less business to me. I am content in shooting a few sessions a month and a wedding here or there. 

My life is full, fuller than all of the money and fame ever attempted to give me.

I wouldn't trade the lessons that I've learned in the last 8 years for another millions dollars. Nope.  

Happy 8 years to me!

This morning I decided that we didn't have to go anywhere to experience the birds singing, the wind moving the trees and some vitamin D... so we went outside on a $25 quilt from an antique store and listened to music while I threw the dog toy and he played with blocks. I think I might have to do this everyday, rain or shine...

I processed these as old timer photos:)

I'm not going to stay clear of processed foods all together, because let's be honest, it's hard to do, nor am I "all organic" because that's too expensive! But, I am planning on growing a good portion of our food in our backyard and teaching Solomon how to garden with me! It will be such a fun process and I believe that it was Adam and Eve's task that was given to them by God to do. Maybe that's why I love it so much? We are to "toil" for our food, not just open a bag and start eating. This is why I love making everything from scratch like homemade bread (recipe below), ice cream, cookies, tomato sauce, etc... It takes time, lots of time. I just listen to music and sermons while Solomon scrambles around the kitchen floor chasing refrigerator magnets and I just feel so... alive! I mean, this is what I've ALWAYS wanted to be... a homemaker and a mother. I feel so blessed to be able to do this, and making delicious, time consuming meals for my family is one of my favorite things to do. 

Anyway, back to real life...

So I buy different veggies and fruits (jicama anyone?), chop them into bite size pieces and throw them into the Beaba for a nice steam. When they are done I season them with spices and put them in the fridge in little containers. Solomon gets homemade wheat bread pieces with every meal and I just put about a slice of bread with a different fruit or veggie each meal. For snacks I buy dried fruit, whatever kind I can get my hands on, and chop it up into small bite sized pieces.

Here is my wheat bread recipe slightly adapted from the Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a Day cookbook.

5 c. whole wheat flour (I just bought 50 pounds of organic whole wheat flour from Azure Standard)

2 1/2 c. white flour

1/4 c. vital wheat gluten (ordered on Amazon.com)

1 1/2 T yeast (I buy the large can of it instead of the packets)

1 T salt

2 1/2 c. warm water to dissolve the yeast in

3/4 c. honey

2/3 c. canola oil or other oil

5 eggs

I mix all of the wet ingredients in my Kitchen Aid mixer and whisk together and then in a large bowl mix all of the dry and them dump it all in. You want to mix lightly, I just get it all wet and then set it aside to rise on a heating pad or stove top while I'm baking something else for it to rise. Let it rise for 2 hours and then put it in the fridge.

If you stir the dough more than just getting it all wet and folded in then it will become VERY gummy and the texture won't be as good. 

You can pinch off 1/3 of the dough and put it in a loaf pan and let it rise for 45 minutes and then bake it for 30 minutes at 350 degrees or you can seran wrap it and put it all in the fridge for up to 5 days. When the dough is cold, take off 1/3 of it and let it rise in a loaf pan for 2 hours before baking. 

The dough will make 2 large loaves and 1 shorter loaf.

See you back Sunday!

Remember my friend, Steph? She was one of my two pregnant friends that endured last summer's heat wave with me in the pool everyday, well now her baby boy is nearly 9 months old! Levi is the happiest baby ever... happier than Solomon and just smiley, smiley, smiley! Here are my favorites from our shoot the other night!