This winter has kicked my butt. Moving to another new state (a much colder one) and trying to jump start my business, learn a new city, find a new church, and find authentic friendships has left me weary. Not the mention attempting potty training, reading 20+ new books on bettering my life, sleep training and remodeling another house. Ok, enough with the lists. It’s been a year for the books, and it ended with a winter that almost left me in a dizzying depression for a week or two. Maybe I just needed my Vitamin D. Or maybe it was my need for adventure and change that left me caged in our home for weeks as the kids went through rounds of sickness and we went through cycles of feet of snow. I went outside last week after another forecast of 20s-30s and saw the tiny bulbs of hope popping out of the dead tree branches and I almost cried. Spring was inevitable, my suntan would come back, my children would play outside, I would finally get to dig my heirloom vegetable garden that I’ve attempted for the last three years.
I made it. I made it through the bleak, cold, harsh, snowy winter and today’s 72 degree day was like an IV to my parched soul. I remembered how wonderful and beautiful my life is. I remembered how even though I’ve been through a hard, stressful move that God has placed friends, ministries and provisions in my lap and all I had to choose to do was endure the “stress” with patience and hope. The hope was lacking I have to admit. I felt stuck in this place of not having control over anything, and it helped me realize that the only thing that I actually have control over is myself. My outlook on life, my actions and my love towards others was the only thing I really needed to focus on. Enough with the worry. Enter into prayer and have faith, and you know what? God didn’t fail me. He provided through people who love us, provided through the referrals of photographer friends when they were too busy and provided through new business ideas.
My life is so rich. I get to spend every day with my children, serving my husband home cooked meals, and the freedom to engage other people in honest relationships. I can look at other people’s more glamorous lives, or look back at my own “peak” of success, but nothing really compares to the peace and ease of love that I have right now. In this very season. Spring is coming and I feel this sigh in my heart that I made it through.