Well I wanted to give an update on life here in small town USA. I haven’t done many personal posts over the last year because I’ve started a personal blog to document my daily life with God, and that leaves me kind of empty of words to share here. So I will attempt to update you all on my life now…
I’m 33 weeks pregnant with Silas Alan Clark. We decided to name him Silas after searching the Bible for an unusual, but meaningful name. It means “of the woods”, but the character of Silas in Acts was awesome and a great legacy to name our son after. Alan is my dad’s name and since we made Solomon’s middle name after Josh’s dad then we decided to even things up and name Silas after my dad. He is very, very active, which slightly scares me. I thought that Solomon was extremely active in the womb and still is today and so I can’t imagine having two children that are wild and never stop moving. But, God will give me grace!
In my personal life I have been on this very deep journey to know God more. If you knew me two years ago, then I am someone completely different today. Everything about me is different and it is really crazy! I used to thrive on the fame and glory of photography, was quite the hypocrite as a Christian and only cared about myself and maintaining my pride. When I got pregnant with Solomon I really had some tough choices to face: teach him to be like me or learn who Jesus really was and teach him to be like Him. I was able to step back for several, slow months of business and search to see if the Bible was actually right and if God was actually real. I was tired of just riding the coat tails of my parent’s faith and needed to find out if it was true or not. So I went on a journey. I started studying the Bible to see if it made sense, to see what each major theme really meant according to the Bible alone and not based on man’s opinions, and then to see if God would really show Himself to be real. I didn’t want to waste my life teaching my kids about a religion that really had no true power and so I put all of my cards on the table and stepped back to see what it all looked like. I sought Him with my whole heart… and I found Him.
It was a shocking time in my life and it was truly incredible. I remember thinking that if I discovered that He really was real and that the ways of Jesus really worked then I would give myself to it wholeheartedly. Beauty is in beholding absolute truth and I didn’t want to miss out on anything this life had for me. Little did I know that it would really be real. Really.
So my life is turned upside down now. Although I still struggle with things like pride, love of money, materialism, etc… they are such small issues now compared to what I dealt with almost two years ago. My life is defined by the amount of love I am seeking to give and my relationships are becoming more and more based on Jesus. I am desiring to book less in photography so that I can spend more time serving my family and know God. It really has been the most unusual time of my life and against all odds it has brought me the most peace. When I had tons of money, friends, things and “fame” I was miserable and it would only get me by for about a day before I was looking for another “hit” of this stuff to cover over the pain of not being totally satisfied. Now, with less money, less things, fewer friends (but true friends!) around me and no fame I am at a greater place of peace and love. It is really interesting!
So back to the baby… some of you read this on my old blog, but I’m having a home birth. Not because I’m a real “granola” type girl, but because it’s cheaper and I’m uninsured… and I think it might be a cool experience… maybe. Maybe not.
We start home birth classes tomorrow night and Josh is absolutely dreading it. haha.
As far as my business goes, I’ve decided to stop making so many trips back to Texas and just lower my prices so that I can book more locally and be a better support for my husband and not be away from my two babies for very long. I am hoping to book 1-2 sessions per week and have changed my editing and shooting quite a bit for the better! I’m excited about photography again and feel like I can make some really great images for others. Well, I’m not sure what else to write about, so that’s the small update on my life! I hope you enjoy the new changes in my blog and website look!